The Worst Day in the History of the World

by: fake noom

Sat Mar 06, 2010 at 16:24:26 PM EST

A team of scientists has agreed on a cause of death in the extinction of the dinosaurs 65.5 million years ago: a gargantuan asteroid that slammed into the Earth in Yucatan, Mexico.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new...

Yes friends what a catastrophe! What a calamity! Get on your knees and curse the forces which drove that giant assteroid into this planet. Curse the driver who steered it for a direct wallop upon this god forsaken grain of shite floating in space. It's as if someone was playing a video game. Crash the asteroid into the 3rd planet from the sun, wreak havoc, kill the dinosaurs, change it's natural evolutionary patterns. Must have been God's wise ass kid who took control of the universe game console when God was out banging Helen oov Troy and Marilyn Monroe.

Why kill the dominant life form roaming unthreatened all about the globe? "Why not?" said the little rascal. When God saw what the little piker had done he roared with laughter knowing full well what would soon be appearing on the Earth. A monster far more threatening than any dinosaur, yes the ultimate Frankenstein, abnormality, barbarian, beast, behemoth, brute, centaur, colossus, demon, devil, dragon, fiend, freak, giant, hellion, horror, leviathan, lusus naturae, mammoth, miscreation, monstrosity, mutant, ogre, phoenix, savage, titan, villain, werewolf, whale and fiend would "soon" appear. Soon to God being 65 million years hence. God afterall was around at the time of the Big Bang which ocurred 13 billion years ago and chances are he was around before that.

PFF Hangout - Indie Film

by: fake noom

Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 13:23:13 PM EST

WELCOME 2 Thunderdome Da SHITEYSPHERE!

yo fookerz. check it. we meet oop in NYC, get 2 or  3 rooms at the sleaziest joint in Manhattan right. cool. we bring 3 videe cameras, coffee, drink, smoke, valium, meth and wtf.

yo we rant, we spew, we debate, we monologue, we joke, we go psychic-ally insane. We prophesize, we get mad, dark, and twisted . we go mad dark. We multi-personality ize - we act, we lie, we pretend, we get "honest", we philosphise. we plunge daggers into the heart oov boolshite and dip our heavenly golden spoons into the infinite glory! we go scream of consciousness.....

nuttin' boot human.

and fookers, we're american, we're alive, pissed angry, happy, depressed, alienated. We're enthralled wi=th the world, full oov loathing 4  the world, loving the wrold, curious aboout the world, we're questioning the world , society ,  our place in it. we ponder Our place in the cosmos. we go deep, beyond hunter thompson-esque. we go gonzo squared. we go awf yo.

we reach new frontiers, we cross barriers, we innovate language, we innovate documentary film, we scream and howl, bark ,clown, jester and brawl.

and we play darts

48 hrs straight......we film it ,handheld n' raw, all that manic energy caught on tape. all taping happens in one room. thee udder rooms r for off camera breaks.

It'll be claustrophobic, boundless, tense, tight and loose. All at the same time.

ya wanna prepare soom shite in advance, then prepare soom shite.

who's in?

Shadowthief/ Donkeytale e-mails

by: fake noom

Fri Dec 25, 2009 at 16:38:11 PM EST

donk reply - eye think pffake noom is Matty Jack/Tejano....noom might be noom, tho I doubt it.

shadow - maybe, but it's hard to bust these trolls. let's give it more time. But twat if it is the real noom? We fucked up bigtime. Why did we bust his chops when noom has always been ok with us?

donk reply - Well, I don't think any of the trolls are the real noom. Hey let's talk about my story. i see it with lots of violence and sex scenes added. Write them up for me would ya please?

Shadow - donk, look, you have to format this as a screenplay, not a short story. Nobody's gonna read an unpublished short story, but they do read screenplays. Why don't you write a first draft n' I'll critique it. We can go fom there?

donk reply - but I don't know how to write a screenplay. I never done it before. (starts whimpering) Pleeeease shadow, I'm beggin' ya. Help me out. I'm on my last legs, you're my last hope!

Shadow - look donk, I want to write a book. I'm very busy, unless you can send me $5,000.00, then I can give you some time.

donk - $5,000.00? my nirvayna seking wife holds all the money, we bury it under the doghouse. I'll telll ya what, tonight when she's sleeping I'm gonna dig it up and take out 5K. By the time she might notice I'll replace it. Besides I'm working on a 100 million dollar deal. OK, I've been working on it for 8 years but it might come thru this time.

Shadow - cool. When I get the check we can start working. Why don't you try and flesh out the story in the meantime. Then send it to me, I'll add to it and send it back. We can go like that till it's done or till you'll need to send me another 5K. BTW - I get co-screenwriting credit and I own half the rights, correct?

donk - sure anything. We've got a deal. Do you really think noom could b the real noom?